Life with Margaret

If I had been her father, I probably wouldn't be able to take care of myself at an old age let alone a daughter suffering from PTSD.  If I had been her doctor, I would recommend that she see go through treatments for the PTSD such as cognitive behavioral therapy or medicine.  If I had been her brother, I would probably make sure that she is with people she can communicate with like other veterans from the war.  Margaret probably feels more isolated than she already was.  She couldn't perform tasks properly and was a burden for others.  I would probably live in an institution since I don't want to be a burden to my family.

Free of Stress

If I didn't need to cope with the high expectations set by my family and friends, I would get a lot more sleep on weekdays!  I am always pressured to get straight A's and attain a career in a medical profession.  I would probably try to become a game designer, novelist or try to enter the artistic world.

The Scarved Bringer of Justice

A male student goes through the city upholding his own sense of justice.  He calls himself the Scarfshade after his dark personality and his scarf around his neck.  Scarfshade is insensitive and is unfeeling giving him numbness to pain, invisibility, and a twisted personality.

In the darkness of the night, a young boy walked alone in the city streets.  He managed to see two men dumping bags into a park lake.  The boy turned into Scarfshade, turned invisible and crept up behind the two men.  He punched the shortest man onto the ground, but the other man was quick.  The taller man pulled out a dagger and stabbed Scarfshade in the chest.  The wound did not affect Scarfshade who then punched the man down and took the knife from the man.  Scarfshade stabbed the man's hands before throwing both of the men into the lake.  The police arrived on the scene due to a call of a disturbance and entered the park to find the injured men gasping for air.  The convicts were arrested for littering and Scarfshade disappeared back into the darkness.

Purpose of Living

The ancient question that has rattled the minds of philosophers since the concept of though had been whether life had a purpose.  Why do we live?  What is the meaning in life?  As a recluse and unsociable individual who has always seen life through a biased perspective, I have pondered this question in times of boring car trips, lying in a field, or waiting for a responsible adult to pick me up from school.  It's obviously a nebulous question designed to analyze the ideals and morals of various individuals; that's the very point.  Each person answers this question independently and with different answers.  Although this is the question's purpose, many will answer with "I don't know".  This requires a rephrasing of question to What do you live for?  I've seen various lives and how people live them, some who follow a purpose, clinging onto something they believe is purpose, or are desperately searching for a reason to continue living.
"What does this have to do with anything?" you may ask.  As a person who lives watching others and is taught by old pages from books passed down generations, I see a trend if you may call it.  The answer to the nebulous question that I had come up with was vague in and of itself.  For what reason do I live?  I live to change.  The universal concept of life is that life is constantly changing and moving forward.  Change is integral in the development of the human race whether it is a good change or bad.  We live to change ourselves to become something better than ourselves and change the lives of others.  I have, since I was born into the modern world, always been living for the sake and desires of peers and others.  As time slips by, I became aware of my own lost existence as a result of this adherence to the wishes of others.  I needed to change myself.  Whether I could change into a citizen accepted by society or a man beaten by society's regulations and ideals was all dependent on my own change and what kind of change of character I was searching for.  I live for others; I always have and will continue to do so.  I want to live to heal others, support others, and enjoy myself along the path.  I believe that with the limited time we all have we should change ourselves to suit the needs of others and fill that empty gap within ourselves.  I want to do many things and travel many different paths of life.  I want to be a medical professional.  I want to become an inspiration for someone.  I want to ensure that the generations to come will know of some contribution I had made in this world before I had departed from the physical world.  Although I won't be able to fill out my to do list completely, I hope others will benefit from my own changes because as I attempt to do this, I will enjoy every minute of it.

Mistakes down The Road

As we continue down our paths through life, we all stumble and fall because of our own shortcomings and mistakes.  Unfortunate events in which we feel like the world itself is against us is uncommon and we have all experienced this very feeling deep down.  There have been many unfortunate events that I can recall, but I shall only describe one.  When I was young, I used to vent out my stress by throwing shoes at a large net on the field held up by large poles.  The net was designed to catch high flying balls, but it served as a net to catch shoes and bounce shoes.  My friends and I tried our best to get our shoes over the net, and I won.  The reward was losing my shoes on a neighboring house roof outside of the campus.  So, I went throughout the school day with only one shoe.  I actually took someone else's shoe to compensate.  When I look back on the experience, I shouldn't have participated in such an activity at all.  I probably would have just watched others or done something else.

The Theory of Unhappiness

Things that make me Happy
Anime
Video Games
Cross Country Running

Things that make me Unhappy
Finishing homework and studying late
Getting taunted about college rejections and acceptances
Getting constantly reminded of my faults and mistakes

I could try to ignore insults and bad memories as I usually do.  Finishing homework early is pretty difficult because I have track and field training which causes me to begin studying late.  If I keep moving forward and following my own path, I can continue to live my life content.

Regretful Experience

I have had many various experiences that I consider regretful.  If I had to choose one in particular event, it would be in elementary school.  I learned a few words from my friends at lunch and during class we began saying various phrases.  The class activity was a worksheet which I had finished early, but I kept saying things that were on my mind until I had said the new words I had learned from my friends.  The room went quiet and it dawned on me that I had said the words aloud to the class.  Only when I was called into the principal's office did I know what they meant.  To this day, I continue to think back on that time.  I had never cried in front of the class before until that day and it was a lesson for me.  I was ignorant and didn't know much of anything that hadn't been written down in textbooks and required school literature.  After that experience, I believed that it would be much better keeping my mouth shut in class.

Loss for Words

During 7th grade in middle school, I lost my grandfather to a heart attack.  It happened in the morning of a Saturday when we had planned on picking our grandparents up to go shopping at Westminster.  I had learned that my grandfather died in his sleep from a heart attack.  Although I hadn't known him that well or had many memories from him, I couldn't help but sob in the living room chair.  I thought about the things I could have done and should have done while he was alive.  My cousins were unaffected and continued to play despite the glum atmosphere.  They wanted me to join in with their game, and that's when I realized that crying wouldn't bring him back.  I coped with the loss with the help of my close relatives.

Society's Troubles

It is troubling to think that we still have to speak of issues in modern day society that have been present for decades.  Women are not completely equal.  Racism is still prevalent in our way of thinking and stereotypes. The social issue that makes me the most irritated is child abuse.  Child abuse has come to envelop child neglect and abandonment.  We rarely speak of child abuse in a school such as Mira Costa High School, but the literature we read and the world we live in still carry on this troubling issue.  I cannot relate to this issue as someone who was pampered in my childhood and was raised to be a successful citizen in modern day society, but I feel that how a child develops is important in how the person grows up and finds their path in life.  Many do not find that path, follow the paths of others, or do not attempt to find their own unique path of their own as a result of the suffering or trauma.  Child abuse is a root cause for many other social issues which is why this issue makes me the most irritated that such an issue is still existent in today's world.

The Stranger

The Stranger Reader-Response Interpretive Writing
by Jonathan Lau and Jacob Helfgott

Two men, Jonathan and Jacob arrive at the prison to meet the imprisoned Monsieur Meursault in his prison cell.  The men are handsome and are both wearing dark suits.  The cell was hot as the murderer’s execution has been scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.

Prison Guard: Why do you want to meet that swine?
Jonathan: We have business with this man.
Jacob: We want to interview M. Meursault about his perspective during the trial.
Prison Guard:    That’s fine. Make sure this does not take long.
Meursault: What do the two of you want with a man like me?
Jonathan:  We were at your trial, and noticed you seemed to have trouble expressing what you were truly thinking…
Jacob: You never really got the chance to explain your side of the whole thing. We hoped that you could be a bit more specific with us. Particularly your seeming lack of emotion for your mother’s passing, and your claim that the -- sun, was it? -- played a part in your killing the victim.
Meursault: What’s there to tell?
Jonathan: I think there is plenty to talk about.  You have nothing to lose.
Meursault: Fine. Let’s just get this over with.
A) Jacob: (sits down) How about we start on the subject of your mother? Nobody really gave you the opportunity to give your story.
Meursault: My mother lived her life fully. There was no reason to be sad.
Jonathan: Mr. Perez said that you didn’t shed tears despite her passing recently.
Meursault: Yes.
Jonathan: Why was that?
Meursault: The whole day was annoying.  It was "the trouble of getting to the bus, buying tickets, and spending two hours traveling" (5).
Jacob: And that completely wiped you of all emotion for your mother?
Meursault: I told you. She had nothing left. She was just starting over, even. What happened is just the way it is. It’s not like it mattered. It was her time.
Jonathan: And you don’t feel any sadness from that?
Meursault: Why would that matter? There’s no point in wasting energy feeling sad about something that has already happened, like a death.
B) Jonathan: I believe you had your fiancé come to your trial?  Marie was her name, correct?
Meursault: (silence)
Jonathan: What do you think of her?  A dear loved one or just another annoyance?
Meursault: She’s...a close acquaintance.
Jonathan:  So you think of her as just another person?  In the trial, she said that you were planning on marrying you.  We also discovered a day in the life of Meursault after your mother’s funeral.
Meursault: Yes.
Jonathan: She really hoped it didn’t come to this.  She said that you “would be acquitted and that [the two of you] would go swimming again” (75) despite the circumstances.  You probably don’t even care about her feelings, do you?  We heard about how you denied saying you loved her and how you didn’t care about the marriage proposal.  Why do you see all these significant events of your life as a bother?
Meursault: Why do you care?  Is that all you wanted to say to me?
G) Jonathan: Far from it my friend, we still have a lot to talk about.  The magistrate, Mr. Dao, seemed to take a strong disliking to you.
Jacob: He called you Mr. Antichrist.  What say you?
Meursault: I can’t see how that matters. If he wants to spend his life believing in something as insipid and uninteresting as God, he can go right ahead. But in the end, it doesn’t matter.
Jonathan: He told us that he had “never seen a soul as hardened as yours” (69).
D) Jacob: Alright then. Let's talk about the topic we came all the way here to speak to you about. Your murder.
Meursault: …
Jonathan: Yes, let’s return to why you’re here.  Why did you kill that man?
Meursault: You already know.
Jacob: Do you really think we will accept a stupid answer like when you “blurted out that [you killed him] because of the sun”? (103).
Meursault: The sun was really hot. It was just a feeling. Like an extreme nuisance. Nothing felt right. He was in the shade, where I wanted to be. I wasn’t thinking straight, I guess.
E) Jonathan: You are getting executed tomorrow.  You know that, right?  If I remember correctly, the judge told us that you are "to have your head cut off in a public square in the name of the French people". (107)
Meursault: Yes. I hope there is a large crowd of people tomorrow. I hope that they greet me with cries of hate.
Jacob: Why is that, exactly?
Meursault: Whether they want to or not, they will hear what I have to say to them. That life is an illusion. Nothing matters. You and me, what we’re doing right now is simply passing the time before the inevitable happens.
Jonathan: I understand what you want us to think, but do you really believe that you understand people?  Do you seriously believe that human life is as meaningless as you want us to think?
Meursault: I understand them more than you ever could.
Jonathan: You think that life is meaningless and that it is better to be known dying by execution rather than dying of old age.  You believe that only death is absolute since lives have no grand meaning.  You want to make the most of your insignificant life.  Though you seem to be doing the opposite.
Meursault: That’s what you think. All life ends eventually. How or when it happens is irrelevant.
Jonathan: I don’t believe in that.  It’s because our lives start out meaningless that people search for their own purpose.  People try to do what they want and endure through hardships to make their life worthwhile before they pass on.  You may live your life by being amoral and indifferent to human life, but many people want their lives to mean something.  What about that man you killed?  Was he just another meaningless existence?
Jacob: (sighs)  If that’s your opinion, we can’t change your mind. But I can’t promise everybody else will share that sentiment Monsieur Meursault. (Jacob stands up and walks towards the entrance)
Meursault: I hope you resent my very existence for the rest of your lives.
Jonathan: So long, “Monsieur Antichrist”.
Prison Guard: Did you get your point across?
Jonathan: I think he got his.

Our World in Words

AMDG

Jonathan Lau

January 12, 2015

Dear Mr./Ms. ____________________ :

“In the confusion we stay with each other, happy to be together, speaking without uttering a single word.“   - Walt Whitman

During the time spent in Mr. Brown’s room, I met many people and learned many things. From quotes to motivate one to wake up in the morning or a quote to brighten up your day, the environment was friendly and so many ideas were shared in its walls.  I noticed that the classroom was divided into two groups: those who love to speak and those who do not.  Speaking is much different depending on the situation, but the premise is mainly the same.  Whether it is presenting in front of a group of people, talking to a stranger, conversing with friends, singing or teaching lessons, people naturally hate to speak (or at least sing and be judged by others).

Mr. Brown, as a Filipino born man with a natural voice, over the past couple of months has led us towards new frontiers everyday.  Each lesson can be incorporated into our lives in order for success in the next stage of life.  It is not only Mr. Brown who provides the many lessons.  The students also contribute to the class in various ways.

Whether it is students aiding the learning environment by providing quotes and videos to discussing philosophy, we all like to contribute to the teaching process without teaching ourselves.  It all refers back to speaking.  Writing on blog posts or holding a conversation with a friend in the same class does not trigger the nervousness that one may feel when teaching in front of an audience.

I learned about various American literature while at the same time opened up a lot more from the teaching projects and discussion activities.  The many months were occupied with fun activities such as short skits that made some sense.  Over time, I found I was talking a lot more than I had before.  Although Model United Nations and Marx lessons have aided me towards speaking more, I found myself speaking everyday in Mr. Brown’s classroom whether it was a radical remark for the sake of comedy or a witty remark to spark conversation.  

I realized something pretty simple and that was that people don't necessarily hate to talk but hate to speak to do things that cause others to judge us especially when judged by a flaw.  This lesson seems obvious, but it is something I want to elaborate upon.  People nowadays fear communication and exploring the pathways in front of them.  We wish to escape from speaking opportunities by waiting for volunteers to step up for singing in front of the class.  The solution for many is to avoid speaking by letting those who like to speak go forward.  This creates a large problem especially for a generation where students are all getting this mentality.

I think that we should face these flaws and understand them because life isn't going to let your flaws pass without rubbing salt into those wounds.  Everyone fears showing weakness towards other people such as singing talent.  We must learn to appreciate every word and listen to one another to become better and more adapted to situations.  Thanks for listening to me ramble on about public speaking (although I am a quiet student myself and can only express myself through text).

From, Jonathan Lau

Activity: Find a person you haven't spoken to in a long time or a complete stranger and talk to him/her.  You may speak about any topic but you cannot use any form of email, text, or phone call.  This discussion must happen face to face.

Song of Choice

I choose to teach the song "The Show Must Go On" by Queen compared to the novel Unbroken.  I chose this song because it is a song I had heard of.  I have a pretty good memory when it comes to music lyrics and Queen was a band in which I had known most of the songs.  The song revolves around the feeling of isolation and perseverance.
I will stand in front of the class to present.  I plan to sing the song in the beginning of the lesson alongside a playing the instrumental version on Youtube.  My presentation will be accompanied by a Google presentation or Powerpoint on the projector.  I will talk about how the song shows the feeling of entrapment.  The lesson will take about 15 minutes or so.  I will bring my laptop.